Promiscuous toddlers and the parents they shame
This post by one of the bloggers I’m obsessed with reminded me of an incident that happened during a party and the awkwardness that ensued.
I was talking with my cousins and a couple of friends over drinks on my sister’s couch. The house was filled with people entertained in their own conversations when my sister’s friend comes over with the tale of how she found her two-year old son locking lips with my niece of the same age. At that point I may or may not have turned to my niece and said something like “you just met him and you’re already kissing him? You don’t know where he’s been, you could have caught something.” My niece was looking back at me with a confused look as if asking “what’chu talkin’ bout Willis?” I was mid-chuckle when I noticed that the looks on some of the faces of the people within earshot mirrored that of my niece. I guess STD jokes about toddlers are not considered very funny even when there was obvious sarcasm involved. You know who especially didn’t find me funny? The mother of said toddler. Awkward… Honestly, I just think she didn’t want her son’s promiscuity out in the open. I can respect that, no one likes to air out their dirty laundry.
How did I go from trying to show my niece the importance of safety when interacting with the opposite sex to looking like an ass. Granted, STD talks may not be age appropriate for a two-year old but it’s never too soon to start talking about these things! Or so I thought. I don’t know, there’s no manual on what not to say to children, is there? So I must rely on my common sense and I don’t know where that thing is, it keeps getting lost.
All in all, lesson learned. Not everyone is going to get my humor and that’s okay, I don’t expect them to. This also shows that it’s probably a good thing I don’t have children of my own depending on me for guidance of any kind.